The perfect disguise

My boy, now you're not so young
now you're the only one at fault
for the things that you've done
no mother to hold your guilty hand
and put the pill on your swollen tongue
but you've never need those drugs,
to make you feel like you were numb
this is your sentence, the gavel is down
so now how do you like, the piece of shit that you've become

red with the hatred of wasting away
blue with the notion of waking each day
white as the ghost that's haunting your fate
black as the ice, as you're turning the curb
you slam on the breaks, but it's too late to swerve
your life is all flashing, in front of your eyes
now's not the time to be questioning "Why?"

so, so long to the good ole days
it's just the ticking clock, on your antique microwave
the songs that you've written, and then threw them away
you might as well burn, every last god damn page

and when you open your eyes, in the dark of the night
and reach over your shoulder, to turn on the light
you know that it's over, and you never said your goodbyes
and you'll never accept, that you're not still alive

Oh, you my poor old ghost
you keep getting further, and further from the life that you've known
and they've all just forgot you, the sound of your voice
or they just don't want to be given, or even mentioned the choice
to her you're grey static, a faint background noise
left in the gutter, like so many her boys
to drift in and out, like a cloud in the sky
now is the time, to be questioning "Why?"

now you know you don't open your heart, without a surgeon, a scalpel, or knife
to do so is the same, as separating your face, or kamikaze suicide
but now you my ghost, you've grown oh, so cold
who'd want you, now that you're so old
but you can do what you'd like, or just what you're told
now just open up wide, and drink down my advice

so you think you like what you've been shown
but it's never as right, as that last bottle of vodka alone
and now you're shivering, and you're out in the cold
of your heart, that's dark, and your soul, you sold

if you're smart you'd start, to go for the gold
just to feel the lifeless metal, against your skin grown old
but when you turn on the light, of the mirror beside, can you still see yourself dying through this disguise?

don't turn back, to the ever so past
it's just filled with busted dreams, and splitting seams, and creaking cracks
don't look back
if you wait, if you hesitate, it might just get away
so don't give chase
and waste away, because that taste on your lips, is the taste of your fate

and you smile so brightly, from eye to shining eye
now's not the time to be questioning "why?"
when you open your mouth to say your goodbyes
you can't make up your mind to take off your disguise.